High Definition Digital Video Recorder

When the high definition digital video recorder arrived via the big brown truck at the Gumball's house, Mrs. Gumball was not around. Mr. Gumball breathed a huge sigh of relief because frankly, the man had not talked over this $450.00 purchase from a high volume online warehouse with Mrs. G. This warehouse's specialty was video recording equipment, including the portable digital video recorder that Mr. Gumball also wanted so desperately for the business, but quickly dismissed the idea when thinking about explaining that purchase as well. As the man sat down and excitedly tore open the cardboard, the man's heart raced. Electronic gadgets to men are like shoes to women and this guy was about to try on an open toed sling back pump that was to die for. When Gumball lifted the recorder's packing box out of the shipping box, and looked at the color pictures of this electronic marvel on the outside panels, a little tear came to his eye. This moment, Gumball reasoned, would be one of those always remembered pictures in colorful detail forever, or at least until the next model came out in three months.

Gumball began drooling at the thought of being able to record all of the Sunday football games when the guy had to be out on the road doing sales presentations. The high definition digital video recorder he had purchased would grab all the high definition games broadcast on cable. Gumball had gotten a high definition television and now, paired with this baby, every pass, run, touchdown field goal would be his when Mr. G got back from the road. No more relying on some antiquated video cassette recorder that showed grainy pictures. This guy would be able to count every blade of grass in the entire stadium with a piece of electronic genius such as Gumball was about to hold in sweaty palms. Gumball could even pause the machine and count how many hotdogs with relish were being consumed on the fifty yard line. And then our hero heard the front door open and the campaign to win over the woman of the house to the urgency of this much needed purchase began.

Gumball had talked for several weeks about wanting to get a portable digital video recorder for recording favorite shows and taking them with him on the road. Gumball tried to explain to Mrs. G that after getting one of these then he could record eighty hours of television at home and then stay in really cheap motels and wouldn't have to rely on lousy antenna reception. Gumball told his wife that the four hundred and fifty dollar portable digital recorder that was desired was the world's smallest of its kind at only thirteen ounces. Gumball told the woman that it had a three and a half inch color monitor and had a high speed USB port for fast downloads. The man pleaded with the skeptical spouse to understand that this little jewel would make life easier for the salesman on the road, but the woman was not buying it. Gumball then told his wife if he actually died on the road somewhere from sheer boredom and loneliness that the tragedy would be Mrs. G's fault. The woman just sniffed and said no. "Rejoice in the Lord alway; and again I say rejoice." (Philippians 4:4)

So when Mrs. G saw the guy leaning over the box, the woman figured pretty quickly what was up and threw up her hands and left the room. Mr. G ran in hot pursuit and began the attack beginning with the technical stuff. Mr. G told Mrs. G that this was capable of recording high definition video, but that did not move the woman one bit. The wife was reminded that while a show was being recorded live, the viewer could stop, pause or rerun the entire show up to that point, but those facts only brought on more sniffs of displeasure. Gumball came back to an earlier point: nine hours of high definition recording ability, but no soap. So the husband stopped and took a deep breath and then began the final assault on the woman's sensibility. Almost shaking, Gumball said "Ok, here's the bottom line: if we keep this high definition digital video recorder, it will (and now the tears started to flow) free me up to do more chores around the house each week when I am home."

Some people said that the earth actually stopped rotating for thirty seconds on that day because for the first time in almost twenty years of marriage, Mrs. G had actually recognized some logical thinking from Gumball. The ploy for getting a portable digital video recorder was a joke, but this idea actually made sense. The man was offering to get all the jobs done that had been sitting in the job jar for almost a year, and in exchange, could watch football late into the evening if so desired. That made perfect sense. Mrs. G threw her arms around Gumball and both were so happy. And Mrs. G even came back into the room and watched the husband set the high definition digital video recorder up next to the television.

While Gumball set everything up, Mrs. G looked over all the specs on the outside of the packing box. In a minute the woman was howling. Mrs. G took out the credit card from the desk drawer and handed it to the Gumball man. "You might as well go get that portable digital video recorder you wanted." Shock and awe was present. "You might as well go get that thing you wanted for road trips because this high definition digital video recorder only works with satellite television, which we don't have!"

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