By Jesse Penfold
Feel like you're getting addicted to AFL Dream Team? Is it spoiling the way you watch football? Here's 5 things to watch out for - Dream Team Addiction might be closer than you think...
5. You know every stat value in Dream Team and your mind is filled of these numbers bouncing around whenever your player gets a stat.
If it gets to the stage of the same thing happening when your opponent's players start to rack up the stats however, you have become a very sad case indeed. Your dreams are overcome by Dream Team 2s, 3s, 4s and -3s bouncing around like little gremlins. You no longer follow AFL - it's now just a means to an end. Geek.
Note - if you play Super Coach, then think yourself lucky the scoring formula is guarded more closely than a parent guards their child at a Michael Jackson concert - you won't be seeing these numbers in your sleep.
4. You get half time and full time Dream Team score updates via SMS when you cannot access the Internet.
(I am all for it if you only get full time updates, but half time as well is a sign you are well and truly gone).
3. Move over 'Pagan's Paddock' - the greatest tactic in AFL these days in your eyes is when two of your dirty cheap backmen decided to play kick to kick as time winds down.
While everyone else is cursing 'clock management', you cheer just a little too loudly and reminding everyone how 'tempo footy' is going to keep you in Eliminator for another round.
2. You need anger management - you can admit you've punched, thrown or smashed something or someone for any of the following reasons:
- your DT player decides to hand ball instead of kick - your DT player lets a sure mark bounce in front of him - your DT player gives away a free kick - your gun back pocket attracts a tag (hello Andrew McLeod) - your DT player gets robbed because of an 'advantage' call (in front of goal this may warrant wall punching) - your low scoring backman is not getting involved in the short pass at a kick in - your player is burnt from the chip around that is clock management or "tempo" footy
But the major one is...
1. You forget about the team you support and start cheering for your Dream Team players to carve them up.
I am sorry; this is where I draw the line. Crossing it is not only first degree sports bigamy, but it is really the start of the end. Hand in your Aussie citizenship and book some time on the couch, and no I do not mean with Gerard Healy (although you might find him in the waiting room).
5. You know every stat value in Dream Team and your mind is filled of these numbers bouncing around whenever your player gets a stat.
If it gets to the stage of the same thing happening when your opponent's players start to rack up the stats however, you have become a very sad case indeed. Your dreams are overcome by Dream Team 2s, 3s, 4s and -3s bouncing around like little gremlins. You no longer follow AFL - it's now just a means to an end. Geek.
Note - if you play Super Coach, then think yourself lucky the scoring formula is guarded more closely than a parent guards their child at a Michael Jackson concert - you won't be seeing these numbers in your sleep.
4. You get half time and full time Dream Team score updates via SMS when you cannot access the Internet.
(I am all for it if you only get full time updates, but half time as well is a sign you are well and truly gone).
3. Move over 'Pagan's Paddock' - the greatest tactic in AFL these days in your eyes is when two of your dirty cheap backmen decided to play kick to kick as time winds down.
While everyone else is cursing 'clock management', you cheer just a little too loudly and reminding everyone how 'tempo footy' is going to keep you in Eliminator for another round.
2. You need anger management - you can admit you've punched, thrown or smashed something or someone for any of the following reasons:
- your DT player decides to hand ball instead of kick - your DT player lets a sure mark bounce in front of him - your DT player gives away a free kick - your gun back pocket attracts a tag (hello Andrew McLeod) - your DT player gets robbed because of an 'advantage' call (in front of goal this may warrant wall punching) - your low scoring backman is not getting involved in the short pass at a kick in - your player is burnt from the chip around that is clock management or "tempo" footy
But the major one is...
1. You forget about the team you support and start cheering for your Dream Team players to carve them up.
I am sorry; this is where I draw the line. Crossing it is not only first degree sports bigamy, but it is really the start of the end. Hand in your Aussie citizenship and book some time on the couch, and no I do not mean with Gerard Healy (although you might find him in the waiting room).
About the Author:
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