Thursday, September 18, 2008

Anger Management Seminars

Judging from the popularity of anger management seminars, and the abundance of sources of information on the topic, there are a lot of angry people out there. Everyone struggles to control angry behavior at times. Most schools devote time each year to deal with the topic, often inviting local law enforcement officers in to speak on the topic of handling angry emotions and the consequences of acting out these feelings. Lesson plans on anger management are offered even in elementary grades. Middle school and high school programs warn against the dangers of uncontrolled expressions of wrath, while noting that rage which is repressed can be equally harmful.

Courses for handling discord in the workplace are common. Conferences which offer sessions on anger management for executives and other management types often have waiting lists for those who wish to be instructed in such issues. Formerly, one commonly associated anger management seminars with court-ordered sessions for out-of-control individuals, but now it seems that such programs are eagerly accepted by those who want to be informed about the best ways to deal with this important issue. Couples seeking ways to enhance or even salvage relationships, and parents concerned about their teen's angry behavior are equally willing to make use of lesson plans on anger management.

Listen to the Bible's lesson plans on anger management: "Be ye angry and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: neither give place to the devil." (Ephesians 4:26) This sums up several important aspects which may be covered by anger management seminars. First, when it says 'be angry', Scripture is not advocating that a person should give free reign to angry thoughts and feelings. However, it does recognize that being angry is a valid emotion. There is a proper way to deal with these emotions, though. Exploding with rage or bottling up these emotions can result in physical, mental and emotional damage. Hence, Scripture continues, 'do not sin' -- that is, do not handle the incident in a sinful fashion. This includes abusive words or actions. Blaming others for one's outbursts is also a common, yet sinful attitude. It is extremely hard not to get defensive when rage strikes. Sometimes a person can focus more on defending his or her own words and actions rather than really listening to the other person's complaints. Often, efforts are expended in justifying oneself rather than identifying the hurt which is underlying the perceived 'problem'. Pride and insecurity can lead a person to refuse to believe that he may be at fault in some sense. Instead, loud accusations of the other person's 'oversensitivity' or 'nagging' or 'craziness' conceal the fear of somehow being part of the problem.

The rest of this Scripture shows the importance of dealing with these issues instead of ignoring them or forgetting about them. The fact that one is not supposed to let the sun go down without attempting to straighten things out is an indication of how deadly and devastating rage can be. If it is better to confront anger head on rather than 'give place to the devil', this makes us wonder at the consequences which surrendering such a foothold would bring. Volleys of angry, hurtful comments, broken homes, marriages and lives, divorce, physical symptoms of stress, loss of jobs and opportunities, battered bodies and even death are some of the prizes which would be claimed by our spiritual adversary. Do not give up even a foothold.

Other lesson plans on anger management may be found online in the form of speakers, books, DVDs, workbooks and anger management seminars. For those who may refuse to attend individual counseling, the relative privacy of utilizing such resources may be at least a first step in obtaining help in this area. Workbooks may be helpful in discerning the causes of angry outbursts and in developing a plan of action to avoid angry responses in the future. Be discerning in accepting any source of advice or counseling. Most pastors are versed in counseling or can refer an individual to appropriate counselors or to an anger management resources from a Christian perspective.

Most lesson plans on anger management follow nearly the same basic outline. First, an attempt at determining the triggers for angry outbursts or sullen withdrawal is made. Recognizing what triggers angry reactions can help one to avoid such situations or at least be prepared to deal with them in a constructive way. Next, an appeal is made to self control. If a person can discipline himself to take a moment to think the situation through, including the consequences, he will be much less likely to pursue a destructive course of action. Take time to consider the effect of angry responses upon oneself and others involved in the incident. Instead, consider a constructive alternative. Even if it involves removing oneself from the situation for a while until control can be reestablished, this is better than venting hateful words or actions upon others. Although all this can happen in an instant, every incident of anger leads to a decision. Choose a course of action which will diffuse the situation, and lead to reconciliation. Then, act on it. Remove those footholds, before the sun goes down.

Facilitators of anger management seminars would concur with the fact that time is needed to develop habits of self control. Considering others before oneself, and acting in a constructive rather than destructive manner is difficult. An individual should be willing to extend the same type of patience to others which he or she would like to receive. Christians recognize that a supernatural work of God in the life of a person is necessary to be able to consistently live in a godly manner. Only then can an individual hope to manage emotions in a way that will benefit not only oneself, but also all who are involved in the situation.

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