Smoking Helps you Relax?

By Sara Mendez

In my job, I've helped a lot of people quit smoking. And I've heard a lot of reasons why smoking is a good thing.

I've been told smoking sharpens your mind, relaxes you, calms you, keeps you from yelling at the kids (or spouse), tastes good with coffee, tastes better after a meal. In short, makes you feel "better". (I always ask "better than what"?)

I know you don't completely believe these reasons, or why know you should quit smoking. I also know a part of you DOES believe these things, and more.

You do have a strong reason to keep smoking or you would have quit by now. Just so you know, there are not any laws stating your reason to keep smoking needs to make any sense. It rarely does.

You've probably already proven your reasons untrue. Smoking might taste better with coffee because the coffee taste on your tongue covers the bad taste of smoking???

Most of the time you KNOW the reason doesn't make sense. That doesn't change the craving though, does it? Just one more one more reason in your list of reasons to quit. A list that doesn't have much chance against the well-rooted cravings to smoke.

It all comes down to two things. The belief that smoking will make you feel better and what you're trying to feel better than. That's it.

If you're too hot, you look for ways to cool off. If you're leg hurts you look for pain relief. If you feel bad (tired, stressed, overwhelmed, angry, lonely, whatever...) you look to feel good. If you have held the belief that smoking makes you feel good, that's where your mind takes you.

This is an only slightly simplified explanation of a craving. Most smokers have more than one type of craving like, the 'first thing in the morning' craving feels different than the 'after lunch' craving. But the same model applies.

So, what are you supposed to do? I can write several pages talking about this (and I have, look for them) But, it all comes down to modifying the feeling, motivation and belief involved.

First, the 'bad feeling' side of things needs to be addressed. If it's too much stress, get it managed, if it's a situation that makes you lonely, do what you can to fix it, or look for help.

Second, the belief that smoking makes you feel good (it is often the mistaken, and understandable, belief that smoking equals being an adult, in control, strong, capable, etc...) The fact is, smoking is some plant leaf and chemicals wrapped in paper. The good feeling you're looking for, and sometimes experience, is created by YOU. YOU make yourself feel better when you smoke. You can make yourself feel just as good when drinking a glass of water. If, your mind believes it.

And that's the trick. Quit smoking is mainly about modifying behavior. That's why the success rate of medication and nicotine replacement alone is so poor. The only current exception is Chantix and even Pfizer, the makers of Chantix, recommend behavior modification along with the medication.

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