Tuesday, September 30, 2008

How TO Save Your Marriage - Things TO Try

By Allison Thompson


Forty percent of all marriages in America will end in the couple getting divorced. If you don't want to become another one of these statistics then you may be interested that you might just be able to salvage your marriage. One should never simply divorce their spouse because they don't know about "how to save your marriage".

There are various things that one can attempt and these should all be attempted before you finally give up on your marriage. Altering your behavior, changing the way in which you think or using the services of a marriage counselor may be what you need in order to save your marriage. All of these options are discussed in this article below.

Think About Changing Your Behavior You need to first take a step back to really see whose behavior is causing the problems in your marriage, is it yours, your spouses or is it both your behaviors. Certainly changing the way that you act towards each other may well be the think that ends up taking the stress out of your relationship that has appeared.

Do you find yourself often having thoughts of a negative nature about your partner such as you feel critical, impatient or jealous? If so you need to start trying to get rid of these if you really are intent on saving your marriage and work on thinking about the good things and what made you fall in love with them and get married. This can often make a big difference to your relationship with them. Also make time to spend showing them just how much you care for them.

Consider taking some time to demonstrate your love for them in the same ways you did when you first started dating. Try to see your spouse with new eyes. After all, you may not be able to change the other person's behavior, but you can certainly change your own.

Communication Skills - Are Yours Effective Are you often criticizing, nagging or yelling at your spouse? Are you both finding it difficult to communicate your wishes to each other in a pleasant tone? Then if you answer these questions with a yes, then it is time to evaluate what communication skills you have. Also you may find it is time to make changes, which then might just help to save your marriage! If you are not sure where you should start there are plenty of resources you can utilize from books, to marriage classes to undergoing counseling. All of which can provide you with the information you need to learn the right skills for communicating with your spouse.

Counseling Many couples will only decide to undergo marriage counseling as a last resort and because everything else they have tried has failed. If you are in a situation where your marriage is having problems then undergoing marriage counseling should be commenced as soon as possible. The counselor will work with you after having objectively evaluated your relationship with your spouse. They will present a plan that you can use to help repair your marriage and work with you as your communication and relationships develop and become stronger. If you really are keen to know how to save your marriage then it is important that you consider counseling, as it could make a whole world of difference to you both.

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